We Have A Baby

True story. A few days ago, I walked passed Aida sleeping in her crib and honestly paused to think, "We have a baby." It has been undeniably real for almost 5 months now, but this time, there was the pause. This time, as I watched her sleep with her butt pushed up in the air, I felt the happy gravity of it all. We've been loving every minute of her smiles, funny faces and even her strength, but not so all of the sudden, we found ourselves feeling borderline normal for a minute. 

She had her last dose of steroids on Friday. There were a couple of days when I was worried about the withdrawal and her body's abilities, but in no time, she began to improve. I say "I" was worried because, apparently, Mark had more faith. As for the test she was to have, the doctor changed his mind, I guess. He does that.  Ultimately, he said if she wasn't symptomatic, there was no need to test for now. Anyway, we've been "big picture" encouraged for several weeks now, but this week has been better for the day to day. As I write this, I can hear her talking to herself on the monitor...in her crib...where she goes to sleep by herself. Like I said, it's not so all of the sudden, and we certainly have a long way to go. At least NOW we can talk about sleep training instead of worrying that she's starving because of steroids. She's definitely not starving. She could probably live on the fat in her double chin/neck for a while anyway. 

There really isn't much medical news. Her numbers were really good except that she's slightly anemic. (She's been this same sort of slightly anemic for several weeks so no big worry.) Soon, we'll be spacing out her chemo treatments to every other week...and ultimately quitting it altogether! As exciting as that is, it's a little scary. We're still seeing growth here and there, but it's gradual which is positive. Mark reassures me that the tumors are just at different places in their life cycles - some improving and some that have been stable now beginning to grow. After all, growing is what these things do. Now all we have to worry about is heat rash and hairlessness, right? Incidentally, her hair is growing ever so subtly. Thanks to our steroid free status, we are now to peach fuzz. She'll probably be bald 'til she's two regardless, but now we'll know she's coming by it honestly.  

All in all, there's much good news and much left to do. Today, though, the gratitude and hope outweigh the uncertainty and worry.